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The Dude’s Handbook

March 20, 2016 Leave a comment

Intro

madmenIf you were to ask me if I understand women, I would easily say no. No man truly understands women,  based on the way men think. Naturally, women are a diverse group of individuals, each with her own habits, traits, preferences, and aversions. Nevertheless, there are guidelines, Laws in fact, that could be applied to any and all women (and men). Some are absolutes that should be avoided while others should be encouraged. Some Laws can speak for themselves, while others require some explanation. Read more…

Categories: Satire, Sex

The 6 aspects of men

August 21, 2013 Leave a comment

male-gender-signA man’s psyche is composed of six aspects; each can be represented as thus: Read more…

Categories: Sex

Men watch porn; women just read it.

September 20, 2012 Leave a comment

We’re all familiar with the idea of a married guy who must hide his trove of porn from the wife but keeps it stashed away for those rainy nights. Some men have become so proficient at hiding porn that, as Chris Rock once said, they’ve practically become Batman, securing it away in a secret cave beneath their house. Read more…

Categories: Fiction, Movies, Sex

Have men evolved to attract women instead of keep ’em?

December 7, 2011 Leave a comment

Someone who shall remain nameless once expressed to me that he can’t imagine getting married. “How can a man be with one woman for the rest of his life?” he wonders. “Think about it, you’re waking up to the same thing every single day!” Read more…

Categories: Science, Sex

If penises could sing

July 14, 2011 Leave a comment

We human males love to boast about the magnificence of the piece of hardware we got between our legs. Some of us are so proud of it, we see it worthy of featuring it in its own comic book series chronicling its adventures.  But us guys should hang our heads in shame when compared to the water boatman, an aquatic beetle the size of a grain of rice. But as self-conscious men have said for generations, it’s not the size that counts but how you use it. The water boatman can use its penis to sing. Read more…

Categories: Nature, Sex

Two girls kissing isn’t gay. It’s art.

March 20, 2011 Leave a comment

It’s true. If I were to see two ladies making out, I’d compare it to standing in an art gallery admiring a magnificent Rembrandt, while I sip on a glass of fine Château Margaux. Not that there’s anything wrong when two dudes are doing the same, but for some reason it lacks the same aesthetic– the same elegance, if you will,  when not done by the fairer sex. Two men kissing isn’t necessarily gay either, but in their case it’s comedy. When I see a couple of fellas passionately embracing each other, it makes me want to chuckle to myself then whip out a pen and pad while saying, “That’s goin’ in the act!” Read more…

Categories: Culture, Rant, Sex